Ok so its been awhile since I've blogged so this may be a train wreck!!
Its so fun when you have NO friends, you sit at home all day thinking of the things you could be doing IF only you had one friend!! Dont get me wrong...... I have friends in Maine and online but not a one where I live!! All I want is to get out of the house with someone other then my son and husband, again dont get me wrong.....I love my family BUT a girl needs some time with other women!! Im going through alot right now, not alot of people know t full extent of all of it! Its hard to talk about to some degree, while on this journey I have discovered some things I didnt want to know and now must deal with and try to fix the problems!!
Im scared in some ways but not in the one most would think....IM NOT afraid to die....IM afraid to leave my children without a mother!! I got my referral yesterday and Im not 100% sure I want to know if 1) I will love a breast(or both) and 2) find out there is nothing they can do.....meaning it has gotten into my lymph nods!! Been dealing with incredible pain in both breast for a little over 3 months now, had a nipple discharge and didnt think anything about it till a little while later when I read and saw a video about IBC(inflammatory breast cancer)by this point tho I had already gotten the persistent rash that wouldnt go away!
Now I sit here contemplating where or not to call and make said appointment!! So many things going through my head and im not sure what to think!!
On another note, I go in on Monday for an u/s on my uterus, lets hope things look OK so I will at least know one day MAYBE Ill be able to give my sweet loving caring man of a husband another child!!
Im gonna try and keep this as updated as I can, not for myself not for my friends(sorry ladies) but for my children and husband....just in case something does happen to me!!
So this is what I got right now and yes this was a huge train wreck, what can I say, I cant even think straight right now!!
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4 comments:
*hugs*
eek! Sorry momma! I know the feeling of not having any women to hang around. It sucks cause there is things that James won't even listen to about me. I so wish I could live near you! HUGS!
Thanks Jamie and Alisha, it means the world to me that you posted to me! You are 2 are my first posts to ANY of my blogging :( its sad sometimes! None of the people that have ever read these has commented!! Its hard sometimes, when I try to be nice to everyone!! Alisha hun I wish the 3 of us lived closer together <3 <3
Whats the point of following someones blog if you don't want to make a comment or whatever you know?
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